It's not often that you get the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition coming together to tell their favourite joke.  It can be very telling   it can peer deep into your soul when people know the type of joke a person laughs at.  For example Rudd would probably wait until a majority started to laugh before he would laugh.  Come to think of it so would Turnbull.  Then they have to laugh at every joke.  Just think about it - all the places they go to in Australia and overseas.  They must be told plenty of jokes.  Even when they are just out and about they would have people come up to them and ask "hey Ruddy did you hear the one about…"  Same with Turnbull "Hey Mal did you hear the one about".  They would have to laugh at the joke because if they didn't they might not vote for them.  That doesn't mean you could abuse the process by telling an obscene joke to Rudd because he's a regular churchgoer.  One of his minders would invariably be on to you in a flash.  So Borderline got them together, put the recorder on the table and let them go.  Borderline was under strict instructions that such is the animosity between the Prime Minister and the Leader of The Opposition that not to expect much because both men are under a 'lot of pressure'.

Borderline:  "Good evening Prime Minister and good evening to you Mr Turnbull."

Rudd: "Hi".

Turnbull: "Good evening".

Borderline: "Gentlemen before you both start telling Borderline your favourite joke how much is a litre of milk?"

Rudd: "What kind of question is that?"

Turnbull:   "I think on this occasion I'll have to agree with the Prime Minister it's not relevant."

Rudd: "It's certainly not relevant     five dollars."

Turnbull: No it's not     a dollar."

Rudd: No it can't be a dollar     three dollars!"

Turnbull:  Three dollars surely not     two dollars!"

Rudd: "I reckon you should round it off a bit - have you ever bought anything and they've said that'll be two dollars please?"

Turnbull: "I see your point     a dollar ninety-five.  What about if it's on special?"

Rudd: "Well I suppose we'll have to give two prices then - a dollar ninety full price and seventy cents on special."

Turnbull: What about if they haven't got any litres of milk only half litres?'

Rudd "That's a point it's a lot more expensive then  - let's say eight dollars for the two half litres      that's four dollars a half litre... no that would be a bit expensive."

Turnbull: What about a dollar ten, that would make it...... 

BORDERLINE  LEAVES THE ROOM

Rudd: Did we agree that we could edit the recording just in case?

Turnbull:  "We certainly did     like if I call you a mongrel, bible-bashing hypocrite you have every right to edit it Mr Rudd."

Rudd: "And If I called you a lying, twofaced silvertail who wouldn't know the difference between right and wrong even if you fell over it     I suppose you would edit out that?"

Turnbull:  "No more than you would if I called you an opportunistic bastard who only joined the Labor Party because you thought you could become Prime Minister!"

Rudd: "and what about you, you bastard     talk about calling the kettle back - you lowdown scumbag!"

Turnbull:  "What about if I was to ram my fist into your jaw   - you couldn't delete that."

Rudd: "No more than if I wrapped this chair around your ears you ignorant bastard!'

BORDERLINE RETURNS TO THE ROOM

Turnbull:  "Sorry about this but we haven't told our jokes yet... let's see now     about a litre of milk     two dollars and fifteen cents."

Borderline: "Wrong!"

Rudd:  "Two dollars and thirty cents."

Borderline: "Wrong     all right how much is a kilo of butter?"

Turnbull: "Hang on not that again

I can smell a rat.  That cheap trick has been around since Adam, don't you think Kev."

Rudd: "It's as plain as the nose on your face Mal, that bastard has tried to fit us up."

Turnbull: "I think we should leave     like I have a sense of fairplay, just because you're Prime Minister and I'm Leader of the Opposition doesn't mean we should be made fools of."

Rudd: "I quite agree Mal, let's go.

THE PRIME MINISTER AND THE LEADER OF THE OPPOSITION GET UP AND MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE DOOR.

Turnbull: "Heard any good jokes lately Kev?"

Rudd: "Yes Mal, What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a windscreen?

Turnbull: I wouldn't have a clue Ruddy."

Rudd:  "It's arse     ha ha ha !"

TURNBULL BREAKS INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER.

Turnbull: ( Still Laughing) A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta ha ha ha, he walks straight up to the Madam drops down $500 and says "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich ha ha ha!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."  Ha ha ha (now laughing hysterically) and ha ha ha .. the trucker replies, "Listen darlin', I'm not horny - I'm homesick ha ha ha...."

TURNBULL AND RUDD FALL TO THEIR KNEES LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.

Rudd: "Praise the Lord     That's was the best joke I've ever heard Mal     why don't you come and sit at my table and we can tell a few more."

Turnbull: "Alright then Kev."

Rudd: "Do you want to be my mate Mal   a real mate, like Menzies and Chifley?"

Turnbull: "I'd love to Ruddy     let's be mates   why don't we start up our own party."